Saying a programmer writes programs is like saying a scientist does science. The difference is that botanists don't design nuclear reactors.
- Erik McClure
Source: http://blackhole12.blogspot.com/2012/02/programmers-are-overgeneralized.html
anonymous: because only the US exists. we're just offshore islands they haven't pillaged for raw materials yet
#189if (count($orgies) == 0) {
// sadface...
Html::p('No organizers here...');
}
Although to be fair I haven't had a birthday bash in 3 years.
It might be time to dip a toe in the paddling pool of celebration
Being good at business is like being a good shit funnel. When it comes your way, don't let shit land on you - funnel it, onto someone else and manage that flow. until it stops.
#186The pace of that training course was like trying to sprint through treacle.
#185[root@importantbox] fsck ...
y
y
y
y
Do you want to fuck the universe? [y/N]
y
y
y
y
.... oh, shit.
Programming Optimisation
The first rule of optimisation is: DONT DO IT.
The second rule of optimisation, for experts only: DONT DO IT, YET.
If at first you don't succeed, you are running about average.
#182jread: The satellite server fell over last week while somebody was...balancing it on it's hind legs at the bottom of one of the cabs.
tomsk: jread: as in literally fell over?!
ajf: load balancing: you're doing it wrong.
piratezxp > "Im a barbie girl, in a barbie wooooooooooorld"
piratezxp > "Wrapped in plastic!"
piratezxp > "ITS FANTASTIC!"
xconspirisist > Wrapped in plastic? Is that the porno version?
piratezxp > "You can brush my hair, and shove your fist anywhere"
xconspirisist > ROFL
xml is like violence; if it's not working, you're not using enough of it.
#179[twisti]: holy shit libGDX is so awesome i had to change pants twice while reading the documentation so far
#178Whilst researching lan parties to potentially visit, I came across the following. It can't have been a typo, it was used across the entire site:
When is the lan:
Saturday December 3ed, 2011
The event starts at 12:00 PM on Saturday December 3ed, 2011 and ends at 1:00 AM on Sunday December 24th, 2011
Found on a lan party webpage of things not to bring, spot the mistake:
Please do NOT bring the following things to the event.
Pets
Illegal Drugs
Alcohol
Weapons (real or replica)
UPS (Uninterpretable Power Supply)
Carry in food or beverage
Switches, Routers, etc.
Neil: Xcon was staying over a few nights ago, and Bert turned up in the morning
Neil: Xcon heard me open the front door to let bert in, I walked out of the house to welcome Bert
Neil: and then Xcon appeared at the front door looking slightly dazed
Neil: Bert said "A Wild Snoorlax appears"
Neil: which got a chuckle :)
Xorn: lol
Neil: You know what xcon's snoring is like, it's horrific
Xorn: oh god i know
Xorn: he sounds like a portly rhino
Neil: I'm looking at possibly going to Norway
Andreas: i would probably have gone someplace with animals or nuts
Neil: that's a strange combo
Neil: why animals, or nuts?
Andreas: animals are awesome and i like nuts
Andreas: always wondered how they taste right off the tree
Neil: About the same as they do when they aren't on the trees I would imagine: http://www.wired.com/images_blogs/photos/uncategorized/goats.jpg
or were you thinking of the nuts?
Andreas: xDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
Martin: That's a Viz reference
Neil: Viz?
Becky: *sigh* Neil, Viz is Private Eye for common people
Becky: It's got less politics and more nob gags
Martin: It as Buster Gonad and his infeasibly large testicles
*chuckles*
Becky: It's like the beano, but much much ruder
I never thought I would find such an everyday topic so entrhllaing!
#172From the FriendFeed / Facebook merger of 2009: "As my mom explained to me, when two companies love each other very much, they form a structured investment vehicle..."
#171a___a: fscking uncultured Welsh people
r___o: welsh > spanish
j___d: a___a: How wrong you are. The Welsh have a well established, broad and deep culture.
r___o: cymru am byth!
j___d: It may not be right and involves shagging sheep, but they have one!
* Matt gets up from his desk and starts walking towards Neil and Mike
Neil: It works! At last it works!
* Matt looks in Neil's direction whilst walking to Martin
Matt: I'll be really excited about that in just a minute. Let me just speak to Martin.
public interface ICantDecideWhetherToPutStuffInOrNot
{
bool ShouldBeIncluded(Stuff stuff)
}
Matt: How does it work?
* Mike gives a very detailed reason why some of our code is slightly crazy.
Matt: fuck off
Matt: Surely it can't work like that?
Matt: Of course that's not your fault. That was a rhetorical 'fuck off'.
j___d: Ah, are you running out of space on one of you LV's?
a___a: No, I've only got one one logical volume
j___d: One? Don't you mean illogical volume?
Reach out to me so we can have a quick discussion on this.
#163Claire: damned students, they made me ill!!! them and their germs
Neil: :(
Neil: Are you feeling terrible again?
Claire: yeah my throat is killing me...i am sounding rather gravelly lol
Neil: aww :(
Claire: i said good morning to the cat and he put his ears back and sniffed me before looking confused lol
Neil: awwwww, lol
Claire: hehe it made me giggle (which made me wince)
12:09 < CookieM|Work> you ever bought anything from one of the stores? :P
12:10 < neil> I've never actually been in one :/
12:10 < CookieM|Work> lol good
12:11 < neil> o...kay ?
12:11 < CookieM|Work> software is shit
12:11 < neil> lol, ok
12:11 < CookieM|Work> so you'll be there for half hour trying to get a top up
12:11 < neil> I've got a contract phone these days
12:11 < CookieM|Work> & then if you wanna pay by card you'll be there even longer
12:11 < neil> sounds impressive
12:12 < Mike> i just use the automated thing over the phone for mine
12:12 < Mike> 30secs and i don't have to wear trousers
12:12 < neil> That's a wonderful mental image
12:12 < Mike> :)
Matt: A year ago, I didn't think we would be where we are today.
Neil: Nor did I.
Matt: You need to have faith Neil.
Neil: I'm not really a religious person.
Matt: Not that sort of faith, although if you want to think of it that way, I am a programming god
(10:21:18) jread: `modprobe bonding`
(10:21:20) jread: heheheheheh
(16:49:13) amaya: actually I've got to walk my beautiful English dog and then off to my skating class
#158* Pete scoffs the third chocolate bar of the day so far (it's barely 10:30)
Matt: You need a balanced diet
Pete: I had crisps for breakfast and chocolate for elevenses
Zoe: That's not a balanced diet.
Neil: You have equal quantities of junk food on each side of the scale
Matt: It's alright, it's balanced on the fulcrum of coffee
Some C# code. Operator overloading can be bad.
public class Looper
{
public void Go()
{
for (; this < Value; Value = this + 1)
{
_action(Value);
}
}
}
"this + 1" ?!
(04:41:37 PM) jread: I freaking love it how a female knows vim search replace syntax.
(04:42:21 PM) christina: Stand back. I know regex
04:42:51 PM) ***jread bows in respect
Its all fun and games... until the universe segfaults.
#154The fine line between Genius and Insanity is bisected by Success.
#153xconspirisist@portia: /etc/init.d/murmur stop
Ha! Go get root and come back later. Bring cookies and strongbow too.
Linux is free if your time is worthless.
#151Presenter: ... and this is our distributed cluster filesystem, good for 64+ nodes
Audience: 64 nodes! Who the hell would have one that large?!
Attendee: What is your maximum runtime latency between two nodes of the cluster?
Presenter: There is no maximum latency...
Audience: *Erupts in laughter*
Attendee: It's all good, you just need "modprobe blackmagic"!
A good friend of mine calls his kids; cost center 1, 2 & 3!
#147<jread> Protip: jread is male. Men often don't listen.
<aashah> ohh wt!! i thought it was the other way !
* jread calls in a missile strike to aashah's desk.
<christina> Protip: I did launch a couple of testing questions to check if you were listening and all the tests came positive. It just means you have a leaky mind.
13:48 -!- iceCuBe [IceChat7@iceCube.users] has quit [Quit: Some folks are wise, and some otherwise.]
#145Yo Dog, I heard you like bootsectors. So I put a bootsector in your bootsector, so you can boot, while you reboot!
#144// from... wait, it's too embarrassing!
function isAdmin() {
if (!$this->isLoggedIn()) { return false; }
return $this->getData('admin') == 'YUP';
}
// from evesigs, an old PHP project;
/**
* If you change values in the following array, a velocoraptor WILL jump out
* from behind you and WILL EAT YOU.
*
* It could trash the whole permissions system. Making people like Gooseman an
* admin.
*
* That should never happen.
*/
17:40 <@Diavolo> Nukes in Space - The Rainbow Bombs: "Nukes in Space" provides an exciting overview of the
development of the military space program of missiles and space-based nuclear weapons testing
with spectacular, never-before-seen images. Starting with the V-1 and V-2, this film takes you
through missile development of ICBM's with nuclear warheads, the Cuban Missile Crisis through
anti-ballistic
17:40 <@Diavolo> missile systems and what implications the they hold for the future of our nation's security.
17:40 * Diavolo watches
17:42 <~Juppi> o_O
17:44 <@Diavolo> i just like fact more than fiction lately :P
17:45 <~Juppi> fact eh
17:46 <@Diavolo> yes, real things happened once in real life :P
17:47 <+neil> real life can be depressing
17:48 <@Diavolo> you're not alive if you're not depressed!
17:49 <+neil> you can also be pretty near death if you're too depressed
17:49 <&Force> last i checked im alive and im not depressed
17:52 <&VRocker> being on irc all day isnt being alive
17:52 <&VRocker> its limbo
17:52 <@AdTec_224> welcome to limbo!
17:53 < SaM> adtec is most of the here :) hello
17:53 * VRocker limbos under a low bar
17:53 <~Juppi> speaking of not being alive, think i'll go play some grim fandango
17:53 <@AdTec_224> lol
(Reported by DaveM in build 5508 at 9:04 on 29/06/2010):
Dev issue Rodents folder is misleading
REPRO STEPS:
1. Open TP folder in TP project
2. Navigate to Source Files Dialogs
RESULTS:
There is a Rodents Folder with a sub Folder of Pink Ferret
NOTES:
A ferret is not a rodent, neither is a Pole Cat come up with a more suitable and accurate folder name.
SOLUTION:
Discuss!
**** Sent to Development by davem - 9:04 29 Jun 2010
**** Assigned to Developer lucienc by davem - 9:04 29 Jun 2010
mneimne: hello guys i have a question why is java considered a pure oopl whereas c++ is not ??
cheeser: java isn't pure OOP, either.
cheeser: so that's easy
waz: ~next
javabot: Another satisfied customer. Next!
<davem> I think Foxes Glacier mints should be made from real foxes.
#12909:56 -!- adipal [solidadity@internets] has quit [Quit: good gals are bad gals that never get caught !]
#126Dan: a website for a retail unit does not possess magical powers!
#125Bill Bailey: ...have some cows made from tungsten, then I'll get right amongst 'em!
#124<Andreas>: I've been doing the macgyver method for computers the last few years: as long as it works, the amount of ducttape doesn't concern me
#123public class Evilness extends Hell implements Unpleasantness
{
// Some code
}
Transaction t = transactions[0];
if (t != null){
...
}
if (t != null){
...
}
if (t != null){
...
}
if (t != null){
...
}
if (t != null){
...
}
if (t != null){
...
}
if (t != null){
...
}
if (t == null) throw exception("Couldn't find transations");;
<daft> yeah hes a quiet one
<daft> the quiet ones are always the kinky bastards
<~Matite> if it wasnt for that thread she would of gotten away with it
<~Matite> she did it when we were all asleep
<~Matite> :X
<&Woet> 'she' is the key word here
<&Woet> WOMAN SHOULD BE RESTRICTED TO THE KITCHEN AND NOT BE PLAYING SA-MP
<~Matite> actually drunk is the key word
<&Woet> now make me a sandwich zazaza
<~Matite> she doesnt speak since we gagged her and tied her in the corner
<~Matite> idk why
<&Woet> oh
<&Woet> nice
public Context ICanHazContext()
{
// Some code
}
<neil> What the heck is a Thunder stick?
<xcon> I can show you mine if you like
<+himselfe> watched the Ur-a-gay v France game last night when I was out because some of the people I was with were watching it, it was exactly like I expected a football game to be
<+neil> dull, tedious and full of overpaid morons?
<+himselfe> Lots of running back and forth, nobody scoring or doing anything interesting, lots of womanly footballers on the floor crying because a gust of wind blew past them, and lots of fowls and yellow cards because somebody wasn't standing in correct alignment with Jupiter
During the world cup:
<[ARG]PlayerX> Argentina 1 - 0 Nigeria
<+himselfe> Care 0
<[ARG]PlayerX> lol
<+himselfe> :P
<andreas> If I'd lost the finger I'd buy a tiny LED light and stick it on there
<andreas> http://mamababahworld.files.wordpress.com/2009/09/et.jpg
<~Conquistadore> bool IsLoggedIn() { return true; }
<~Conquistadore> best security algorithm ever
<~Conquistadore> never fails
<~Conquistadore> no exceptions being thrown
<~Conquistadore> thread safe also
<Andreas> http://somequotes.neilpwc.co.uk/?65 rofl
#112<Andreas> A guy from work was having a tailor over yesterday to get cheap suit made, and asked if I wanted to buy one too. I told him that I treat the requirement of a suit the same way I treat random pop ups asking for my credit card number online; as a warning sign its somewhere I don't want to be
#111// I found this in code that has been shipped for the last 5 years.
// It is executed every time anyone runs a report (20+ times a day)
if (true && "".Length > 0) {
// Do something
}
// Not to be outdone:
if (true && "B06".Length == 0) {
// Do something else
}
<tech> My attempt to repartition my hard disk failed epicly.
<xcon> You were lucky it didn't turn your data into confetti.
Java's native XML reader/writer has lots of factories. I felt it necessary to abuse this...
Transformer optimusPrime = TransformerFactory.newInstance().newTransformer();
* Mike hops off to rasterbate in the kitchen
#107// Sorry for the casty-nasty-ness.
JTextField txtInteger = new JTextField(((Integer) Integer.parseInt(bua.getValue().toString())).toString());
<&Propugnator> Be nice to the geeks and nerds.
<&Propugnator> They'll be your boss one day.
<&zazaza> IM A NERD gonna be my own boss
<&zazaza> of nothingness.
<&Nitro> "Be nice to the geeks and nerds - They'll be tieing you down in someones basement one day."
<&Propugnator> I do it in the Attic
<andreas> If I had a rooster and you had a donkey and your donkey ate my rooster's feet, what you you have?
<neil> errr
<neil> I'm too tired to think :(
<andreas> two feet of my cock in your ass
<andreas> xD
Found on a dating site:
"i dont read books but the one i have read all the way through was pete docotys mums bibliography."
* picks up a chicken / rooster from DaveM's desk and throws it at DaveM
<DaveM> What are you doing tossing my cock around the office?
We should embark on project randy badger in the near future.
#101<dm> I'm really looking forward to operation filthy weasel.
#100<dm> It looks like pink ferret is exposing itself.
#99***f1yback would like to find the people who invented CAPTCHA, then inject them with a poison that would kill them in minutes - unless they get an antidote which is protected by a fucking CAPTCHA.
#98<N> suckie suckie 50 dolllar?
<A> That's rather expensive
<N> This isn't just any suckie suckie
<N> This is M&S suckie suckie
00:23 <+neil> exit
00:24 * neil facepalms and goes to type exit correctly
00:24 <&VRocker> lol
00:24 <&Force> hello/goodbye neil :P
Employment Slogan:
Come work for us
You're clearly better than this lot.
<davem> A nice little switch statement
<davem> It's amazing how quick switch statements grow up
<davem> Into a few hundred lines.
<xcon> Drinking over Ethernet?
<xcon> I propose a new RFC!
Massacre`uK: so while im brushing my teeth, u got an address?
xconspirisist: 127.0.0.1
Massacre`uK: while that may be ok for local, im coming from a wider area
xconspirisist: 94.17.165.8
Massacre`uK: awesome. just need get a physical address
xconspirisist: 00:FF:B9:A8:FF:05:07:07
it would be like slamming a sausage roll casing.......entirely pointless
#91<advisor> You aren't normal.
<neil> What can I do about that?
<advisor> err,..... As you were.
<Andreas> Facebook is the best defense Earth has against hostile aliens. Once they see how dumb the general population is, they won't bother invading.
#89<+neil> Is it worth buying gta iv for £5?
<&Force> if you can run it
<&Force> if you get loads of people on mp it's fun too
<~Juppi> worth about the £5, not much more imo
<&VRocker> yeh neil :)
<&VRocker> you should be able to run it around 30fps from what i rememeber of your specs neil
<+neil> alternatively, I could continue my boycott of it as it's a lame port
<&VRocker> heh
<+neil> hmm
<&Force> :x
<+neil> If you don't like what a company do, you have to show them with your wallet and not buy it
<+neil> it's the only language they understand
<&VRocker> tis only £5 though :P
<+neil> That's what is making me think
<&VRocker> makes me feel like a chump that i preordered it for £25
<+neil> :P
<&Force> lol
<&VRocker> i have a shiney box though!
<&Force> i only got it because it was £5 in the xmas sales
<+neil> that's some expensive cardboard you have there
<&VRocker> lol
* neil gets an empty packet of bran flakes and some gloss paint
<&VRocker> lol
<&Force> lol
<xcon> I'm trying to work out which direction I need to tilt my phone to get to the photo gallery.
<MTG> Try with the screen towards you.
<neil> hah.
<xcon> Windows Deployment Services - Machines building machines, now that's just stupid.
#86// [BK]: You are now entering the HACK ZONE!
<some utterly horrific code here>
// [BK]: You are now leaving the HACK ZONE!
<xcon> Sharepoint treats ram like Chewits, it goes "nom nom nom nom"
#84Toby: This isnt the worst code ive seen, but its certainly the most trivial...
------
function isSmallerOrLargerThanZero($fNumber){
if($fNumber == "") return false;
if(!is_numeric($fNumber)) return false;
return (($fNumber > 0)||($fNumber < 0))?true:false;
}
When _not_ talking about games:
<xcon> That doesn't look much fun single player.
<neil> You weren't exactly carrying any extra weight the last time I saw you.
<tomuk5> I would be a small meal for James.
<oliver> Google translations are fun.
<oliver> try "once in a blue moon in hertz"
<oliver> once in a blue moon = 1.16699016 × 10-8 hertz
<xcon> You learn these things then sell the information back to the unterpeons.
#79When talking about domain controllers...
Neomancer: yeah i can imagine yours is a bit tighter than mine
<neil> Are you having trouble manhandling that?
<xcon> It's huge... it's a two man job.
* Mike steals neil
<neil> not again
<Mike> should be more alert
<Jc18-> o_O
<Mike> silly neil
<neil> there is a part of me that enjoys it, so I don't care that much :P
<Mike> D:
* Mike releases neil
<neil> aww, no fun :P
* Mike steals neil
* Force steals Mike and neil
* neil steals Force
* Juppi pokes Force Mike and neil in the eye
<+neil> oww
<&Force> x_O
<~Conquistadore> whats up these days?
<&neil> while (true) { Work(); Sleep(); }
<techfreak> The packet loss fairies are visiting James this evening.
#73<sn> do you like hard or squiggy?
<nc> hmmm, sort of in the middle
<&MeisterQ> i think chucky and fairlight are the same
<&Mike> hardly proof
<&Mike> :p
<&MeisterQ> someone told me fairlights name was chucky at msn :P
<&Mike> hardly proof :p
<&MeisterQ> :P
<&Mike> daft is actually linka
<&Mike> and both their ips have 3 dots in them
<&MeisterQ> xD
Bert: omg ahahaha http://www.casesbypelican.com/1690-30-lcdmonitor.htm
Bert: its like a nuke proof monitor SHED
Bert: seriously it has a handle and wheels!
Bert: ITS A DUSTBIN FOR MONITORS o/
Bert: lol
Bert: AHHH RANDOM SONG CHANGE O.o
Bert: incomplete file fail
Bert: lol
<~Conquistadore> kinky stuff
<~Conquistadore> was funny
<~Conquistadore> even if it didn't look like that in the first place
<~Conquistadore> i was just kinda confused but excited at the same time
public enum Position
{
LeftOutside,
TopOutside,
TopOutsideAndUpABit,
TopLeftOutside,
LeftInside,
RightInside,
TopRightInside,
TopRightInsideButLeftABit,
RightOutside,
BottomOutside
}
N: Psychology is something that has interested me, but it's not something I've had the chance to look into as such
E: don't bother
E: its all a bunch of old pervy men making false statements which stupidly got accepted into common truth
<xcon> I love it, with increases in hard disk space. It doesn't mean you can store more, it just means you delete less.
#65<Conquistadore> http://somequotes.neilpwc.co.uk/?59
<Conquistadore> <Andreas> .snow { display: none; } would pwn
<Conquistadore> lolol
<Conquistadore> it would suck :(
<neil> He's from Norway, it's near permanent up there
<Conquistadore> .snow { padding: 200px }
<Conquistadore> would do
<neil> hah
Andreas: If you're too dense to spell "know" or "brother" correctly, it's a fairly good chance that conversations with you won't be the intellectual highlight of the day
#63Neil: I'm sure your watching me :P
Andreas: God is always watching, my child
Andreas: i hackzor'd his feedz
Andreas: pretty fucking easy when his ustream login is "God" and PW is 12345
Andreas: law of big numbers: let enough flys into a room, and sooner or later they will shit grammatical corrections on your TV
#61N: I need to learn to be more adventurous
C: haha, you are adventurous enough my lad
<Andreas> most of the world can be viewed through css
<Andreas> unfortunately, it cant be interacted with in the same way
<Andreas> .snow { display: none; } would pwn
<toby> I feel its worth highlighting my stupidity to someone
<toby> I just got my shuttle from my mate home today.... but being as I'm entirely Laptop these days, I kinda didn't think to bring home a keyboard
<toby> installing fedora might be "tricky"
<neil> hahaha
<neil> I award you a cookie for managing that
<toby> I'm a clever boy :D
Andreas: Being a geek isn't about knowing everything; it's about knowing enough to figure out the rest.
#56Andreas: I figured that the people in question wouldn't be insulted as they would be able to find twitter anyways
Neil: haha
Neil: you are probably right
Andreas: I would say I'm glad to be a geek, but then again, if I wasn't, I'd be too stupid to realize why i should be sad
Neil: You are so condescending to other people it's wonderful
Andreas: condescending, realistic, potato
Neil: lol
Neil: It might be realistic... but that's my point, it really is that way
Andreas: I'm only this way when i talk to people who know what I'm talking about
Neil: Oh I get you 100% :)
Andreas: since i mostly use sarcasm and irony instead of direct insults, the people i actually insult probably wouldn't understand that they'd been insulted anyways though.
Neil: I have encountered people who just read my sarcasm as being inaccurate :s
Andreas: lol
Andreas: me too
Andreas: I've worked with those people
<neil> If I remember correctly, you're driving tomorrow?
<becky> Yes. & in a break with tradition my car is clean!
<neil> Crickey, I'll miss the dust and crumbs :)
<neil> We were given an example of code from one of about 72 different programming languages.
<neil> Some of the constructs we had never seen before. The exam question involved naming the language and saying what the snippet of code did.
<neil> It came down to guessing:
<neil> "Is that an assignment? A binary shift, or maybe its just an operator to tell the cat to fuck off? Who knows.."
<tom> Nautical Euphemisms:
<tom> Signaling the rear admiral
<tom> Manning the poop deck
<tom> Mooring up to the pontoon
<tom> Coming into the dry dock
<tom> Tieing up your barge
<tom> If I assaulted myself with a hot iron, would you find that arousing?
#51xconspirisist: heh, if you caused a kernel panic with your middle mouse button, just imagine what the left and right ones could do :)
#50<Dale> I'm off sick with bad cold
<Dale> You know its the bad cough, blocked sinus, headache, earache, lack of concentration, really tired and slightly blurred version type
<Neil> That sounds rather more like flu than a cold
<Dale> Probably I have definitely spread it in work already :-)
<Dale> Nothing says I love you guys like a viral infection of the non-sexual variety
There aren't many things in the world that I would really like, but can't have. She is one of them.
#48<~Conquistadore> sh-4.0$ touch /tits
<~Conquistadore> touch: cannot touch `/tits': Permission denied
<~Conquistadore> :(
18:32 <+himselfe> shouldn't the utils be included with Windows, since it takes up 1 googol yottabytes of space to store drivers?
18:32 <&VRocker> asus utils you nab :P
18:32 <+himselfe> that's what I mean
18:33 <+himselfe> I mean why else would drivers require so much space?
18:34 <+himselfe> starting windows \o/
18:35 <+himselfe> setup is installing devices
18:36 <+himselfe> why hasn't it done that already?
18:36 <+himselfe> really don't get the point of an installation process that doesn't install :P
18:40 <+himselfe> 7%
18:40 <+neil> to be honest, if you are going to whine this much - you might as well just give up now
18:41 <+neil> You would say the same to anyone of us trying a *bsd
18:41 <+himselfe> nah, you're free to whine :P
18:41 <+himselfe> I'm just bitching to annoy VRocker :P
18:41 <+neil> I'll quote that for later use
18:42 <+himselfe> go for it :P
18:42 <+himselfe> I don't take software personally
Extract from theregister.co.uk (http://www.theregister.co.uk/2009/12/10/verity_stob/)
Whilst talking about threads and processes:
"Threads save all the tedious mucking about creating state and context demanded by processes, by simply enabling multiple threads to cavort together in the same address space, and with the same resources, like drowning kittens in a bucket of water. Adding cores to the processor improves the threading model by significantly increasing the amount of water available. (Peace: no actual kittens were drowned in the manufacture of that simile.)"
Andreas: i ran out of ways to say hello so im citing song lyrics instead
Andreas: mathhew wilder- break my stride
Neil: oookay
Neil: You don't have to say hi necessarily
Neil: Just jump into the convo :)
Andreas: im such a ninja that if i did that you wouldnt know i was there talking
Andreas: so
Andreas: no can do
Neil: haha
xcon: Controlling intelligence via configuration variables, awesome.
#43<&BB101> kiting is for pussies pros do BDSM instead
<@neil> How about those who do both? ;)
xconspirisist: That boy is just a waste of atoms.
#41Neil: This is just a case study in Fail.
#40Andreas: its twitter, its about as complicated as breakfast cereal
Andreas: without milk
18:41 * neil hits Print on a document he needs first thing tomorrow then swears abuse all over the place when he discovers that between 3 geeks in a house, they don't have a printer! GAH!
18:41 * neil mumbles obscenities under his breath
18:42 <+ozzie> what a printah?
18:42 < neil> yeah
18:42 * ozzie goes into the stock cupboard
18:42 * ozzie pulls out a Wenger 3/1 9 pin printer
18:42 <+ozzie> happy birthday
18:43 < neil> awwwwwwwww, you're so kind :)
18:44 <+ozzie> cant find a picture on google
18:44 <+ozzie> its a A2 printer
18:44 < neil> o.0
18:44 <+ozzie> took 45 minutes to print a full A2 page at top quality
18:44 <+ozzie> after which you would need to do foundation repairs to the building you were printing in
18:45 <+ozzie> cant remember where the fuck we got it from, some sort of ex military unit
18:46 <%[R3V]Jack_Bauer> ROFL
18:46 <%[R3V]Jack_Bauer> thats a good one xD
18:46 < neil> nice
18:47 < neil> I do remember having a dot matrix printer on my chest of draws when I was a kid, and mid way through a print, the chest of draws disintegrated from the force of the print
18:47 < neil> The printer carried on, even though it was at a 45 or so degree angle on a heap of wood and clothes
18:48 <&Force> lmao
18:56 <%[R3V]Jack_Bauer> ROFLMAO
18:56 <+ozzie> XD
18:56 <+ozzie> dot matrix ftw
22:03 -!- Conquistadore [i.r.conq@adtech-web.de] has quit [Quit: http://files.uploadffs.com/c/1ca5cad2/ragequit.jpg]
#3722:35 -!- Brophy [brophy@bastage.net] has quit [Quit: Ah, IRC, where men are men, women are men, and 14-year old girls are FBI agents]
#36Andreas: Walking Kismo [the dog] is also annoying...somehow people think that when you have a dog, they can randomly annoy you with human communication. "Hi, nice dog, what kind is it?" "It's a man eating killer poodle, fuck off"
#35Andreas: people tend to think im crazy as i often talk to myself in english
Andreas: use norwegian so rarely i need a dictionary when i do
Andreas: and frankly, walking around with a dictionary to be able to talk to myself somehow seems even more crazy
Neil: lmfao
Andreas: i use english 24/7
Andreas: when i read, when i write, when I chat, when i listen to podcasts, audiobooks, watch TV
Andreas: only time i use norwegian is when i talk to people
Andreas: and thats not very often
Andreas: so i end up forgetting the norwegian words for shit
Andreas: so i have to use the english ones instead
Andreas: sounding like some 14 year old gansgta or whatever, half-norwegian half english
[23:51] <Tobey> ahh! I just want to program my remote! I hate you logitech, like yuki hates babies...
[23:55] <Cptnodeard> remote? get a htpc
[23:56] <Eredor> what's a htpc?
[23:56] <Cptnodeard> house trained pet chipmunk
[23:57] <Eredor> !google htpc
[23:57] <dfkt> [Google] #1 Home theater PC - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Home_theater_PC )
[23:57] <dfkt> [Google] Desc: Jump to HTPC characteristics: Beyond functioning as a standard PC, normally HTPC's have some additional characteristics: ...
[23:57] <Eredor> your definition sounds better
[23:58] <Cptnodeard> and you could actually train a chipmunk to change channels etc, making a remote unnecessary
[23:58] <Eredor> indeed
Neil: The number of people who have a seemingly infinite ability to make utterly retarded purchase decisions is utterly astounding
#32Andreas: ironically, geeks are known to be asocial
Andreas: while dumb people claim that SQ (social intelligence) is better than IQ and mock geeks for lacking that quality
Andreas: while in reality, truth is that people with any real IQ are spread so far apart you basically HAVE to lock yourself in a room on the internet to find people to talk with
Andreas: unless you want to discuss who got drunk and fucked the cat last night
Neil: My S, L and M keys are missing the labels due to excessive use
Andreas: Didn't know you were into S&M
Andreas: :D
Neil: You never asked ;)
10:21 <%Windlord> why search for nasty things when the world's full with other beautiful things
10:22 <&himselfe> be on the internet enough and you don't really have to search :P
21:04 <&Force> are you able to do that compiling?
21:05 <+neil> quite possibly
21:05 <+neil> Once I find some deep-heat pain killer stuff
21:05 <&Force> great :)
21:05 <+neil> My back hurts sooooooo badly right now :(
21:05 <&Force> :<
21:07 < _AoD-NC> !!
21:07 <+neil> bollocks, left it behind when I moved out
21:07 <&VRocker> :(
21:08 <&VRocker> i have a deep heat pad next to me
21:08 * VRocker digitalises it and send to neil
21:08 <+ozzie> lol
21:08 <+ozzie> 1's and 0's never looked so soothing vro
21:08 <&VRocker> :)
21:08 <+neil> lol
21:09 <+neil> I just wish I had the 3D printer all setup
21:09 <&VRocker> heh
21:56 * Mike moos at neil
21:57 * norby89 poos on Mike
21:57 * Talidan rubs oil on norby89
21:58 * Mike pushes norby89 down a luge track
21:59 <%norby89> wiiiiiiiiiiii
Andreas: r.i.p logitech Keyboard. 2008-2009
#26Andreas: my list of desstructive concepts in the world
Andreas: ranking 5th: nuklear bombs
Andreas: ranking 4th: supernovas
Andreas: ranking 3rd: the big bang
Andreas: ranking 2nd: humans
Andreas: ranking 1st: runaway </div>s
Neil: I dread to think what you've done with </div> tags which makes them rank that highly
Andreas: i code like i eat
Andreas: only half of it goes where it should
Neil: lmao
Andreas: if only it was a joke
Neil: I know :p
Andreas: i take pride in coding so badly that experience programmers go "wtf is that?!?" and crawl into a fedal position if I pastebin anything from my blog
Andreas: some guy i know wanted ftp access to help me with a PHP problem (i know the guy). i dont remember the PW as its saved in filezilla, but even if i did i wouldnt have given it to him from fear of giving him a stroke
Neil: What's worrying, is you are probably accurate with those comments
Andreas: at least more accurate than with my food and div tags
* neil contemplates buying a heatsink & fan for himself
<@neil> I'm clearly not that well designed to be passively cooled
<@ozzie> awwwww
[From Twitter]
Andreas: At work. Goat tried to eat my headphones
(a few weeks later)
Andreas: Goat just ate my headphones. Need my spares
Andreas: (for listening, not desert)
Neil: I try and avoid typos where possible
Andreas: i try to ignore backspace where possible xD
Andreas: as you've most likely seen
Neil: hehe
Andreas: my thought process when I do typo, like capslock:
1: type type type
2: fuck, caps
3: text-transform: lowercase;
4: bah that wont work
5: fuck it
6: enter
Neil: lol
Neil: Depending on your keyboard, it might be possible to disable that key
Neil: I've got a keyboard driver somewhere which converts caps lock into a backspace key, as its easier to use that way
Andreas: no matter what keyboard you have you can disable that key
Neil: really?
Andreas: its called brute force
Neil: hah
Andreas: rip out the key, throw it out the window
Neil: I find remapping it to backspace easier ;)
Andreas: well
Andreas: remapping it to the neigbors lawn is technically easier
Andreas: less useful, but easier
Richard: as long as you don't follow any of my advice, you'll be fine
***toby CRITICAL EXCEPTION - Paradox detected... shutting down ***
mode (+o angus ) by ashak
angus: wohoooo, got i got ops bitch's
mode (-o angus ) by Warmfusion
mode (-v angus ) by Warmfusion
angus left the room (Kicked by Warmfusion (Warmfusion)).
Warmfusion: yes... but with great power, comes great backlashes
angus [n=angus@88-XXX-XXX-XXX.dynamic.example.com] entered the room.
angus left the room.
angus [n=angus@88-XXX-XXX-XXX.dynamic.example.com] entered the room.
angus left the room (quit: "leaving").
angus [n=angus@88-XXX-XXX-XXX.dynamic.example.com] entered the room.
angus left the room.
angus [n=angus@88-XXX-XXX-XXX.dynamic.example.com] entered the room.
angus: sorry just testing my hostname thing
Warmfusion has changed the topic to: The Angus Hokey Cokey
<Jargon> Pffft, whatever... put your money where your mouth is!
<Jargon> Make it tomorrow bitch, be there or be a uniform, regular quadrilateral!
<&himselfe> wow the smell of TCP really sticks, can still smell it on my hand from last night and I've had a bath and washed my hands several times since then
<@neil> Do you find UDP has the same effect?
<~VRocker> rofl
<&himselfe> lol :D
<~VRocker> that made me chuckle
Toby: HEHE
Toby: MAKES SENSE
***Toby disables NightClub Mode
Toby: woah
Toby: my bad
Toby: i can only assume it uses some form of magic
Neil C: lol
Toby: i mean highly advanced technology
Toby: i always get them confused
Toby: Sup Dawg
neil: hey hey
* Toby immediately visualises Neil as Crusty the clown
Toby: hey hey!
neil: Someone asked me for a permanent marker yesterday, we couldn't find pens, styli or anything in the house... we resorted to a stick and some black shoe polish.
#13xconspirisist: Just typed up a bit of paper I found lying around, looks like Neil was making some notes. Forgive me if bits do not make sense, but his handwriting looks like Romulan.
#12andreas: i need to find something to write about on pocketables >.<
andreas: havent handed in anything this week
Neil: I can't really recommend anything :S
andreas: orly :D
Neil: ya rly
andreas: Help me Obi-Wan Neilobi, you're my only hope
Neil: My DNS setttings were wrong, I've changed the settings to another dns server.
andreas: yeah i know what a dns is
andreas: i also happen to be a DNS
andreas: Devious Norwegian Smartass'
Neil: I'm listening to a lot of music these days...
Neil: I need to find some new artists to listen to
andreas: thats like finding a safety pin in a pile of active grenades
andreas: when i was about 14 i had a foot mushroom (dunno what its called in english)
(Andreas is from Norway)
A programmer is just a tool which converts caffeine into code. [source unknown]
#7Tobys Random Fact [100309]
Link 5 on a google.co.uk search of "fjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjf" is a YouTube video titled: "Fredrick has a casual orgy with himself"
It also suggests, "Did you mean: jfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjf"
But of course!
xconspirisist: #: wall
xconspirisist: <type your message><enter>
xconspirisist: CTRL+D
Broadcast Message from xconspirisist@localhost
(/dev/pts/1) at 23:52 ...
I am in your server, reading y0ur filez. :D
neil: thats a nice idea
neil: not quite where I was going with it :P
Toby: *shrugs* think outside the box man... totally
Toby: bodacious
Toby: and so forth
Random comments about mike working at the fire station:
Day changed to 21 Jul 2008
00:00 <&Mike> my next project should be quite fun to make actually
00:00 <&Mike> pretty timeline for tracking the appliances at incidents
00:01 <&Mike> any of you ever used lotus notes?
00:01 <@neil> there is part of me thats wants to be a comedian, "there was a cooker and a dishwasher, neither were involved in the fire"
00:01 <@neil> I'm clearly terrible with jokes and puns
00:02 <&Mike> o_O
00:02 <@neil> "tracking appliances at incidents"
00:02 <&Mike> pfft
00:02 <~VRocker-Lappy> lol!
00:02 <&Mike> :p
00:02 <@neil> :P
00:02 <&Mike> fire engines!
00:02 <@neil> I know I know :p
00:02 <~VRocker-Lappy> thats great once you explained it
Re the abandonment of #XCOM:
01:30 <~oz> give me control over it and i'll inject life ;)
01:30 <~oz> even if its only bot fights
01:32 <~oz> "i can process PI to 5.3 billion points in 1 second"
01:32 <~oz> "i can do it in 0.9999 seconds"
01:32 <~oz> "your programmer sucks cock"
01:32 <~oz> "tcp over here and transmit that!"
01:32 <~oz> UDP FIIIIGHT
<neil> http://www.xkcd.com/518/
<himselfe> only good thing about freebsd is... wait I've forgotten
<neil> which BSD variant would you recommend himselfe?
<neil> I'm about to reinstall my linux desktop, as ubuntu don't seem to want to let me install anything on this one anymore
<himselfe> for servers OpenBSD, for general usage and hacking NetBSD
<neil> I'll give those a look :) thanks
<himselfe> ohh I remember what was good about FreeBSD now, NVIDIA make drivers for it